Just a Phase

Hmmm. Where to begin?

We're in a phase. Yup. A dreaded phase. (Nobody refers to good times as "just a phase," do they?) But this phase, just like every other phase, will pass. And we'll hit a smooth groove. Right?

Up until now, Stella has basically been an angel. She's been curious, smart, funny, sweet and gentle. And while she's still curious, smart, funny, sweet and gentle, she's now feisty, persnickety and frustrated. In short, she's two approaching three and finally giving us a run for our money.

We knew this developmental phase was inevitable (and necessary), and we knew Phoebe's arrival would most likely prompt such a shift, but I can't say it's been easy navigating this new era. We have mostly wonderful days, blissed out in our little family glow. But tantrums and fits have reared their ugly head, and it's so very overwhelming for the wee Scout.

For us? (For any parent?) It's very much like watching our beautiful babe stuck atop a rocky ship. She's being tossed around by her own (oh-so-intense and real) emotions and we're left to offer guidance... from the shore.

But, as we always do, we're figuring it out. With firmness and compassion, we're helping Stella find that balance between asserting her needs and behaving humanely. Sometimes she finds that balance. And sometimes she's totally and utterly frustrated. And while I do my darnedest to keep my calm so that she knows she's safe with me, I must admit that I've spent more than a moment lately taking a deep breath while locked in the bathroom for twenty seconds.

The tough part is that Stella is so darn smart. She's witty and sharp and fast. Brian and I don't even try to pull a fast one on her to distract or placate her because she's on to us already. So we're making do with calm words, clear expectations and many an "I love you." And really, she's such a joyful gift for the most part that we soak up as much of that goodness as we can.

It's painful watching Stella struggle, but it's beautiful knowing that this struggle is going to result in a stronger, more competent kid (and woman) who knows how to feel deeply and communicate clearly.

And in classic kid-style, Stella almost always peppers the tough moments with undeniably amazing and miraculous moments. Just when I need it, she'll wrap her arms around my neck and whisper to me, "Oh, I love you so much, Mama. Thank you." And that alone keeps me going.